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From Anor Londo to Your Arms

A young, newly engaged couple goes on vacation and stays at a beautiful island resort. Up in their room, they share a night of passion and tenderness, making love to each other for the first time. 

Only somewhat loosely based on a true story and anonymously commissioned by the real-life couple it's based on.  

Contains loving, intimate vanilla sex, kitsune (fox ears/tail), deepthroating and face-sitting/mild femdom. 

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - (Part 1)-"I think tonight I'm finally ready."
Submitted: August 6, 2018 • Updated: August 7, 2018
Word count: 4903 • Size: 26k • Comments: 0 • views: 219

Chapter 2 - (Part 2)-"She shuddered and gripped his hair tighter."
Submitted: August 7, 2018 • Updated: August 7, 2018
Word count: 4862 • Size: 26k • Comments: 0 • views: 70

Chapter 3 - (Part 3)-"They both felt the electricity of connection"
Submitted: August 10, 2018 • Updated: August 10, 2018
Word count: 5781 • Size: 30k • Comments: 0 • views: 50

Comments

Comments (5)

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Windstar on August 9, 2018, 1:23:38 AM

Windstar on (Chapter: index)
WindstarReally awesome blowjob and deepthroating scene! I can see you really focused on each individual reaction, from the expressions on their faces, to each respective stroke and lap. For this reason, it kinda seems like Harold cums really, really fast. And I like how totally in-tune with each other the characters are. I'm not exactly sure what Sabrina's tail and fox ears are a reference to, though. Since these two met in a game (Dark Souls), I was thinking the tail and ears are supposed to mirror Sabrina's avatar. But I don't associate catgirls with Dark Souls...
Also thought it was really sexy how Sabrina just holds him in her throat for a while. I've always wondered how best to illustrate the passage of time while not explicitly saying how much time has passed. Mayhap if I were the commissioner, I would have asked for a couple sentences that might put more emphasis on that. Also liked how she "sunk back down on him"-- it seems so rare for deepthroating to continue after the orgasm. Ahem, maybe this is more of a compliment for Sabrina, heh...
I was thinking to myself recently what a deity you are for writing this kind of stuff at this kind of level. I tried commissioning another writer for something small a week or two ago, and what they produced was just... nothing compared to your material. They didn't understand that the titillation is in the details, not in the overall picture. 
Anyway, this kind of vanilla stuff is exactly what I look for. You do a good job of writing typical scenes in new ways; a blowjob is never quite the same.

Lemonator on August 9, 2018, 9:45:36 AM

Lemonator on (Chapter: index)
Comment Deleted

Windstar on August 9, 2018, 11:03:57 AM

Windstar on (Chapter: index)
WindstarYeah, my comment was originally just for Part 1. Too bad chapter specific comments don't work here. >.>
Chapter 2 was really well done as well. I thought Harold using his tongue as a runway for Sabrina to grind against was really hot. While the tongue "penetration" was a bit of a stretch. As malleable as the tongue is, it's just too short to make an impact. It does show that while female genitals don't have many moving parts, a tongue does... so the burden of action is on the tongue and mouth. Hum, hum, something to think about. 

Lemonator on August 9, 2018, 1:23:09 PM

Lemonator on (Chapter: index)
LemonatorYeah, that's a fair criticism. That was a tricky scene to write, because I did have a draft written for that scene beforehand that was more realistic, but it also wasn't really femdom, which is what the commissioners wanted. Sure, she was on top of him, but he was controlling the action with his mouth and making her feel good on his own terms. So I had to come up with something else, and I like my sex scenes to have at least a little bit of dynamic change, so I didn't want to have her grinding on his tongue the whole time. Add in the fact that cunnilingus scenes are kind of my weakness as a writer, and I think it's definitely the least solid of the 3 sex scenes. 

In my defense though, I did do some research on tongue penetration, and apparently it does happen, and some people like it quite a bit. Now, whether or not people actually ride it like a dick is another thing entirely, but I guess if the reader can accept the fact that Sabrina just has fox ears and a tail for no perceivable reason, they can accept tongue riding. I did want this story to be more realistic and less 'porny' overall, but...oh well. Plus, I don't think the thing you said about the tongue being short is that significant. A lot of people say that girth makes way more of a difference anyway, and that specific sensations are more important than just going deeper. I wasn't that happy about how it turned out though, and that's unfortunate considering it was probably the first time I've had a female commissioner (not counting friends I've written for). Maybe someday I'll go back and re-write it again, if I ever get the time. 

Lemonator on August 9, 2018, 9:44:16 AM

Lemonator on (Chapter: index)
LemonatorA deity, huh? That's a new one. I think if people start calling me things like that, I might just turn into a world class douchebag. :P Haha, really though, thanks for that incredibly high praise, but I really think that if anything good comes out of my writing it's due to years and years of honing and practicing my work, and also the fact that I put way too much effort into doing these, because I really desperately want them to be good. It's that level of effort and time expended that probably is a significant part of why I can't make a decent living off this stuff, but I also don't have too many other financially lucrative skills/talents, so as my one thing right now, I treat it very much as 'if I'm going to do a job, I want to do it good'

I also feel very strongly about porn and what it can be, and I like to create what I don't already see out there (or at least not that often). I have to say though, writing can be a pretty frustrating experience because I can see all my weak points and flaws as I'm working, and it's a constant struggle just to come up with something that satisfies me. I do think I've gotten pretty good at writing sex over the years, though I think as a writer I have a lot of glaring flaws and I'm half decent at best. One big struggle I have is writing descriptive/poetic sentences that are not sex-related, because I feel like I have a pretty limited vocabulary for a writer and much to my frustration, words that I might know I can never think of when I need them, or I forget them at the worst times. So most of the time I just wind up writing very simple/plain sentences, because if I didn't I'd be staring at a blank page for fifteen minutes, and wasting precious work time. Maybe someday I'll take a creative writing class. :o

As for the blowjob, all of the little details in the scene are things I came up with. The commissioners really just gave me vague/broad strokes details and let me fill in the rest. And if it feels rushed, it's probably because it was a little. I knew I had like, four and a half positions to get through, plus some dialogue parts, so I was trying to keep the word count from getting way out of hand (and even doing that it was long!). And with splitting it into shallow and deep parts, each part is even more truncated. But thank you, I really do try to make every scene I write a little different! 

That is one of the biggest challenges in writing smut I feel, because sex by nature (unless you're bringing out wild bdsm or kink things) is kind of redundant. Lately I've found it helps to avoid that redundancy by focusing on things other than just the sex itself. Focusing on the environment, the physical, intimate details that are not inherently explicit, and the characters themselves. In this case, I was specifically trying to write an oral scene from Sabrina's (not her real name, btw) perspective, one that enjoyed all of Harold's male features (I talk about his chest/stomach, the hairs on his legs, etc, etc.). So it's like, a straight male audience can relate to and enjoy that, but it gives them a distinctly different perspective, and hopefully it's something a female audience would enjoy/relate to too (including and most importantly my commissioner). In contrast the cunninlingus scene I wrote is mostly from Harold's perspective, so with that I have kind of a 'theming' for this story (oral scenes with swapped perspectives).

Passage of time is also something I've thought about a lot, I think you can describe other things happening that are related to the deepthroating, that keep the suspense/tension high. And yeah, I've recently tried to include plenty of sexy details that go beyond the point of climax, because personally I'm always a little disappointed when I'm reading smut, and it gets to the climax and just abruptly grinds to a halt. I figure if people are reading a story to get off, they might want to bask a little in that moment. 

Oh, and the fox ears/tail is just kind of the commissioners' thing, a fantasy that they share that has nothing to do with Dark Souls. Also they're both really into anime, which I think is maybe all the explanation that's needed. :P